E217 | Coachability vs. Compliance in BJJ: Developing Your Own Jiu-Jitsu Game

Full Episode Transcript

David Figueroa-Martinez: Welcome to Tapped In. My name is David Figueroa-Martinez of DFM Coaching, and today we’re going to be discussing coachability versus compliance. If you are a newer student, some of this is going to maybe hit a little closer to home. If you’re more advanced, and maybe you’re getting into that purple, brown stage, you’re probably going to have noticed that you have advanced past the compliance stage. You’re probably a bit more reluctant to even appear like you’re a mindless robot or that you take orders. At that stage, you’re the teenager slash young adult who has started to come into their own. So you’re in a different stage.

David: The white belts and the blue belts, this is going to pertain a little bit more to you guys because it is more geared toward that original early mindset. The definition of compliance for me is someone who is more follower and mimicker. Someone who copies, someone who is looking at their instructor’s path, their game, their abilities, the things they do really well, and mimicking and copying that. And there’s a segment of that that’s just going to naturally happen. Just like when I used to draw—when I started to get really comfortable at drawing, I was taking comic books or comic cards and trying to draw a specific panel based on the way it looked. It spoke to me for some reason, so I wanted to redraw it or draw it on my own.

David: And there’s going to be a lot of mimicry in your early stages of your Jiu-Jitsu. First couple, I don’t know, maybe year, year and a half, a ton of mimicking. You’re going to be following, you’re going to be understanding or wanting to understand something based on simple things like it’s in your vicinity. You think it looks cool, you think it looks interesting, your instructor does it. Part of that is, again, natural.

David: There’s also an aspect of that where you are—because you’re in that stage, you’re looking for external validation from your coach. "Hey, I did this right." When you get to a certain level, you care less about it. But early on, it’s a big thing, because you’re messing everything up, you’re not getting a whole lot of things right, you’re not understanding a whole lot. And you can physically see and feel when you’ve messed up, and it happens a lot, that those attaboys or those kudos or the pats on the back go a long way.

David: So again, you’re going to have a somewhat follower mindset early on. You’re going to be mimicking and you’re going to be reflective based on outside validation. Some of that, again, is natural, and I’m not speaking to everyone who is in that early, early, early stage. But when it comes to the coachability aspect, I really want students to kind of jump out of that relatively early—soon. Again, you’re going to mimic, you’re going to see things that are going to speak to you based on what you’re seeing and what’s available.

David: You’re going to get to a point where you’re going to start painting your own picture based on the things that kind of just interest you: your body type, temperament, things that, "Oh, my training partner does this a certain way and I really like that." Or, "I’ve become a bit more focused on butterfly because I had some early success with it, but my coach doesn’t necessarily play butterfly." All that is good. I really want people to get to that stage where they feel like they’re taking a little bit more ownership.

David: You’re not completely on your own. You’re not at—like the brown belts, they’re completely on their own in a lot of senses. They get to dictate everywhere they’re going to go. Early on, there’s just going to be some guardrails, but I want you to have those moments where you’re thinking about: What is best for me? What do I address and why? And then start taking a little bit of ownership and creativity in what you’re chasing.

David: And the anatomy of the coachability aspect is you’re a little bit more internal when it comes to the validation. You start understanding, "Hey, I did this semi-right. It didn’t land the way I wanted it to land, it didn’t necessarily produce the sweep, but I got him off-balance, and I know that that’s a trigger, that’s something that I should be doing right." So you kind of pat yourself on the back when those things happen.

David: Your feedback changes. Sometimes the questions and the way you’re phrasing questions starts to change. Not "what technique should I use?" but it ends up being more of like, "Why does this technique work in this position?" And you start understanding a little bit more depth, because you’re now in that territory where you’re gauging and wanting to understand the reasons why things happen. Not just, "Hey, I put—I’m in science class, I put these chemicals together and this happened." But, okay, why does this chemical respond to this chemical? Why does this sweep or this mechanic that I did here create the off-balancing mechanism that I’m looking for?

David: And then I get to understand it a little deeper, and then I get to replicate it, because now I’m understanding: Okay, when he does this, I’ve got to do this. And then when he shifts or she shifts, I can do this. So there’s a difference aspect in it. There’s also a sense of vulnerability in being coachable. You start to ask questions more. Questions are a little deeper, like I mentioned. But you’re understanding that you have to open yourself up to a little bit of vulnerability in the sense of, "Hey, I don’t know what I don’t know."

David: And sometimes I was this way, where I didn’t want to ask a whole lot of questions and I just had this drive of like, "Oh, I’ll just figure it out." But I could have saved myself quite a bit of time by asking, by being vulnerable and maybe asking a dumb question and feeling like, "Oh yeah, they’re going to make fun of me for asking this really silly question that most of the class maybe already knows." But for me it didn’t make any sense, so that’s a good thing—having the vulnerability and having the discussions when you need it, so that you don’t spend a bunch of extra time messing around the same shit when you can dive into some of the group learning and the coach aspect that he knows or she knows and kind of getting through with that.

David: The "why" is a big thing. Understanding the why of why techniques work, or why do I need to not get my knees pulled together when I’m playing guard, or why do I need to be on my side more than flat? I can tell you, "Hey, you need to be on your side more." But then when you ask questions, or because I feel like you’re at a position where you can understand the why, now I can break it down. Every time you do this and you’re flat on your back, you’re not responding with your hips as well. So when you get on your side and you’re facing me more, your hips and your feet can play more of a defensive role. That’s the why. So this why sticks with you a bit longer, but it takes time to get to a point where you feel like you’re receptive enough for that information.

David: And that’s a simple concept, a simple way about it. I personally do not want carbon copies of myself. I don’t want people who think they understand Jiu-Jitsu because they’re mimicking my style or the way I approach training. I want people who go in there and be like, "Okay, so my body type tells me I need to start doing this. That makes sense. My body type also tells me like, I’m not great at the hip flexibility. David’s great with hips flexibility, so it allows him to play a slightly different game than what I’m going to play. I’m going to have to adapt some things, or I’m going to have to play a completely different game." All of that is valid. All of it.

David: Your coachability is in understanding yourself first and foremost, which comes with a little bit of time, but then it’s understanding what your coach can provide for you and starting to adapt things for you and your game. You are not to be a carbon copy of anyone out there. It is silly, it is going to hinder your ability, and you’re not meant to play the game that everyone else plays or anyone else plays. My game is incredibly unique to me. Not everyone has the hip flexibility, not everyone has the butterfly dexterity of their feet in the way I play. It is very specific and unique to me.

David: I took in a lot of different data from people who played butterfly guard. I took in data from a coach. I took in data from my old coach who was great at butterfly. I took in data from people I had never met because I was watching their videos or their instructionals, and I added that stuff in there because it felt right for me. It was something maybe I was hinting at or I was getting into, and I just needed more information so that I felt like I can play it effectively.

David: I play a very unique game. It’s unique to me. I have short legs, I have pretty powerful legs, I can lift with the butterfly hook, I can get my hooks into territory and nooks and crannies that some people have not been able to develop very well. But they have a game that’s suited for them that I can’t play. So that coachability is understanding yourself first and foremost, which comes with a little bit of time, but then it’s understanding what your coach can help you develop.

David: And I understand that comes with more experience, but it’s also—you come in as an adult. You have the ideas of other life experiences, whether that’s managing people, whether that’s understanding how team dynamics work, or maybe you were a coach in softball or baseball and you’re bringing that in. And it’s just understanding that every player and everyone on the mats or on the field is going to just play the game a little different than everyone else. You’re no different.

David: So start asking those questions. Ask as many as you can. Ask in really thoughtful ways—not just what technique do I use, but why is this happening and how do I negate it, and why is this good for me? Those things are going to be huge for you. They’re going to allow you to grow and you’re going to have a lot of depth of knowledge that other people are not going to understand.

David: There’s a lot of academies out there where you have a head coach who wants to create miniatures of themselves. And as they create miniatures of themselves, for them it’s, in my opinion, a little bit of an ego boost. "I have created people who are doing what I’m doing." And maybe it’s successful. Maybe it’s successful at the highest level, maybe it’s successful in local competitions and IBJJFs, which is great. But you’re also robbing people of having their ability to understand what exactly is right for them.

David: And I as a coach also have to identify what the right levels of coaching are right for people. And I can’t do that if I’m trying to mimic people to my style, or I’m trying to adhere to a specific thing that I want them to do. So we have to be mindful of that, the student has to be mindful of that, so that we can get the best outcome. And it’s not limited to being someone who just mimics or someone who just takes that style and runs with it. You have to buy in because it’s pleasant to you, not me.

David: And I know that’s hard for some people, and I know in some environments it’s difficult. I’ve been in environments where certain aspects of the Jiu-Jitsu game were kind of frowned upon and they were pushed off, like, "Oh, you don’t want to do that," or, "Don’t do this." One that comes to mind was Kesa Gatame. It’s huge in Judo. In Jiu-Jitsu, a lot of coaches will force students to stay away from it, and I think it limits the artistic ability of a student who has an interest in it. And yes, are there dangers? Yes, just like any other game, any other guard, any other technique. But it doesn’t mean that I should shun you away from it. You’re coachable enough to say, "Hey, this is something I’m interested in," dive right in.

David: Take things of mine that speak to you, but I don’t need little soldiers or toy soldiers or clones of me. I want you to be coachable, question the things that you feel are a little off. Maybe I give you a suggestion and then you’re like, "Ah, but my hip doesn’t let me do that." Okay, so let’s work on something else, or work on a way to make it work. But again, it goes back to the coachability of a student being comfortable enough to explain that to the coach.

David: Because there’s going to be times where sometimes I teach something and my brain is like, "Oh, we’re going to do this," and then I look at the group and I’m like, "Yeah, I forgot, not everyone can move the hip this way." So then I have to make an adjustment, or create a secondary technique for people who can’t quite move that way to add or supplement to the position that we want to get to.

David: I’m hoping this makes sense for the topic. If there are any further questions on this, please let me know. It’s a big one, and it’s something that I really think students should start to get into under a year. I know people say white belts should still just continue to learn, but you’ve got to get used to at least changing the mindset once you start learning the basics.